A Flemm Blog

Check out this video.  It makes me want an iPad so much more.



Looks way better than actually going through tweets and status updates and clicking links.  A magazine of everything your friends are linking.  Awesome.

This edition of Apple Trolls is going to be a little different. I wrote a post a little while ago called 'Internet People' in which I pointed out how Apple Trolls down-rank any comment that says something positive about Apple. The example I showed in that post was a pretty good representation. What I've done here is go through the first page of comments on an Engadget post titled 'Consumer Reports confirms iPhone 4 antenna problems -- and so do we' and taken screenshots of every comment which has been 'down-ranked into oblivion'

See if you can spot what they all have in common:

Keep in mind that there are a bunch of comments in between these, but these are all of the 'down-ranked to oblivion' comments on the first page.

If any commenter dares say one positive thing about Apple of the iPhone 4, or even downplays the iPhone 4 antenna issue, they get voted down to oblivion.

Since this is an Apple Trolls post, I was going to add the highest ranked comments, but it turns out that EVERY single comment that wasn't 'down-ranked into oblivion' for being pro-apple is highest ranked.  You've got to go there and see it for yourself.  It's an Apple Troll's paradise.

These Apple Trolls saw a post on a phone they don't have, read it (maybe) and proceeded to vote up any comment which bashed the iPhone and vote down any comment which cast it in a positive light.  The internet is an interesting place.

Read this the other day: 'Mobile Employees, Consultants Need Mobile WiFi Hotspots'.

His points are these: 
When he goes to other companies with his laptop, he needs internet access.
Most companies won't give him access to their WiFi.
Therefore he needs to tether to a phone.

He can't use an iPhone
No travelling businessman can use an iPhone

Uh ... THE iPHONE CAN TETHER!

The iPhone has been capable of tethering for over a year.  It doesn't do it over WiFi, but it's perfectly capable of tethering over USB or Bluetooth.  Get your facts straight.

He finishes with:

So Apple, if you want to be considered as a real corporate solution, you have to bring this functionality soon, or you're not even an option.

How are so many people so confused?

Below is a comment from an Engadget Post titled: 'HP Slate no longer a consumer product, will arrive for enterprise this fall'

PC games are played with a keyboard and a mouse!  How the hell does this idiot want to play PC games on a tablet?  If he plugs a keyboard and mouse into the thing, why the hell did he buy a tablet?!

Also, he's disappointed that the iPad won't have the competition of a Windows tablet?  Windows tablets are not competition to the iPad.  A WebOS tablet is.

I'll say it again.  Desktop OS's are designed to be controlled by the precision of a pixel at the end of a left-facing arrow.  You cannot achieve this precision with touch.  Even with a stylus, it's a pain.  Mobile OS's are designed to be controlled by the precision of a finger.  For that reason, they are perfect for a tablet you want to control with your finger.

A tablet running Windows (XP, Vista or 7) or Mac OS (X or otherwise) will not succeed.  Anybody who says they want a Windows 7 tablet doesn't actually want a Windows 7 tablet.  They actually want this:


A giant hunk of plastic they can do their POWER blog-trolling on.  Because everyone knows you need 3GHz, 6 GB ram, liquid cooling, and a completely customizable OS to browse the web.  And if you think you don't, you're just drinking the Apple Kool-Aid you stupid iSheep, Fanboy, technologically-inept moron.

Welcome, friends, to another instalment of my 'Apple Trolls' series. I'm thinking of making this a regular series, with new Trolls posted every Monday. Thoughts?

Enjoy:

(Apple Hate)
Apple's slickster advertising vaneer is wearing thin, giving us a glimpse of its douchy crusty core.

What's inside that shiny box? Garbage.

Who's that man behind the curtain pulling all the levers and stealing candy from babies? The one and only greedy little turtle kneck wearing hipster doofus monkey boy.
(/Apple Hate)
:) Now my day is full of double rainbows.

Today's Apple Trolling is brought to you courtesy of 'Aneurism' in a post on Gizmodo titled 'Apple Censors Discussions On Negative Consumer Reports' iPhone 4 Test [Updated]'

I've seen a bunch of articles recently which show us all the reasons Apple is in serious trouble.  At their press conference yesterday, someone asked if they would apologize to their shareholders.  From the horrible implications of the iPhone 4's antenna, to the fact that they haven't released a major OS update in OVER TEN MONTHS!  The writing's on the wall.  It's time to accept it, and start dumping Apple shares.  Here are some charts which back this up:

AAPL share price over last 5 years

AAPL Market cap over last 5 years

And if the financial proof isn't enough to convince you that Apple's done, let's talk about the less tangible aspects.  Let's look at customer satisfaction:
Above is a comparison of customer satisfaction for some companies and industries with/in which Apple competes.  It is clear from this graph that Apple's customers are not happy.  I wouldn't count on any repeat purchases when making estimates about their future.

SELL SELL SELL!!

So, obviously I'm being facetious, but I just love the way technology bloggers foretell the end of Apple.  They're morons.  Regardless of what you may think of their products, they appear to be a pretty safe bet.

[Disclaimer:  I didn't include Google in the customer satisfaction chart because their users are not their customers.  Their users get everything for free, so they're perfectly happy (86% in 2009).  Google's customers are the advertisers who give them money top put ads on search results.]

On June 30th, A Flemm Blog had its 5,000th visitor.  He/She was from the Netherlands.  Welcome, weary traveller.  Mr/Mrs. Netherlands came here for my post on Purepillz (I love that post).