A Flemm Blog

The other day I heard etiquette defined as "the lubrication of social intercourse".  I think that is an absolutely perfect explanation of why we follow the rules of etiquette.  Let's face it: social intercourse often has a lot of friction, which can be uncomfortable.  Any lubrication we can provide in social situations helps immensely.

While I was pondering this wonderful definition, this happened:

In case the picture doesn't say it all, I'll explain.

I was waiting for a pump at a gas station behind this green car.  There was nobody there, so I assumed he was inside paying.  The question of whether he should have left his car at the pump while paying is not one we'll address today, but if you bring it up some time, I'd be happy to talk about it.  After sitting and waiting behind this car for a minute, while he blocked the pump I wanted to use, I saw a guy walking over to the car with a bottle of wiper-fluid.  He got in to the car, but immediately after doing so, the most ridiculous thing happened: he got back out of the car and began to open the hood.

At this point, I pondered my options.  I could: (a) honk, (b) yell, (c) make awkward eye-contact with a 'really?' face any time he was not behind the hood, and take a lot of pictures of him hoping he'll notice what's going on.  I chose option (c).  By the way, this was with my head out of the window.

As if the situation weren't crazy enough, I noticed while he was hiding behind the hood from my glare that there was no gas tank on the pump side of this car!  This guy had pulled in to a pump spot at the gas station, gotten out of his car, bought washer fluid, and filled the car with washer fluid, while there were people waiting in lines to purchase gas.  That is the epitome of asshole.

Needless to say, by the time he was getting back in his car, there was a lot of friction in this social situation.  He definitely noticed my glare.

Another set of etiquette issues I notice a lot are the etiquette issues surrounding biking. For me, it's mostly the road/sidewalk issue.  I come down on this issue in a reasonable way:  'pick one'.  Either you're a vehicle, or you're not.  If you want to ride on the road, you must follow the rules.  You stop for red lights, and you don't sneak up the right side at intersections.  If you don't want to be a vehicle, and you don't want to follow the rules, then get on the sidewalk, and piss off the pedestrians instead of me.

The bicycle problem becomes quite animated in the winter.  Winter bikers don't have room to exist.  The streets are too narrow, and they cause traffic to have to go at their speed.  Plus, with the snow and ice around, the chances of them falling are greatly exaggerated.  This poses a problem for me, because if you fall, I might kill you.  Although I want you to not exist, I don't want to kill you.  The etiquette of winter biking is: don't.

So please.  When in any social situation - that's any situation in which you are interacting with another person - remember to use lube.