Good day, and welcome to the third, and final act of The Line. Of course, if you haven't already, head over to Act I and Act II before reading this. With that, I give you ... Act III:
Manfred: (from offstage) Gary! Gary! You must not give up! Avenge me! Save the world from the zombies!
Enter Manfred
Gary: Wait, if you’re alive, why did you tell me to avenge you?
Manfred: You once said to me that the most important thing to you was the human race. Well it’s in trouble, and we are the only people who can save it. You also once said to me that you had an erotic dream about Charlie Sheen. That was wrong on seven levels, but did I tell anyone? No. You can trust me Gary. I know what’s best. We must eliminate the zombie threat. We. Together.
Gary hugs Manfred
Gary: Manfred! I thought you were gone forever!
Manfred: No, some guy just took me into a little room and gave me these. (holds out pirate hook and peg-leg). I’m not sure what it means.
Gary: I will do all I can to avenge the thousands of deaths the zombies have already caused. And I do trust you, Manfred. If I didn’t, would I do this? (Gary turns with his back to Manfred, extends his arms, and falls backwards, landing hard on the ground)
Enter Celia, looking back to normal, and upon seeing Manfred, runs to give him a hug
Celia: Manfred! You’re back! You’re okay!
Manfred: Ya. I’m fine, Celia.
Enter Shirtless Karl, wearing an all-leather outfit, including butt-less chaps, and a collar + leash.
Karl: Hey guys, I’m back, and I’m ready to prove that I’m not gay.
Gary: You sure look that way to me.
Karl: What?
Gary: That outfit … kind of gay.
Karl: Uh … Well, I guess you’re right. I mean I am wearing butt-less chaps and all.
Manfred: Hey Karl, I was …
Karl: Manfred! You’re back! (hugs Manfred) I missed you so much.
Manfred: Ya. But look. Some guy gave me these. (holds out peg-leg and hook) can you make any sense of them?
Karl: Well that’s not haaaaaaarrrrrrd at all. They’re a peg-leg and a hook-hand. Here, can I try them on? (installs pirate items)
Line is in front of the group is now completely offstage, and the group of waiters behind our people is furious
Karl: That feels very natural. I think I may be a pirate!
Manfred: Really? A pirate? How did you get here?
Karl: I sailed, of course … My God! I am! Aaaaaaaarrrrr me-matie. I’m so excited! (hugs Celia)
While hugging Celia, Karl’s hook-hand stabs Celia, killing her. Everyone on stage is visibly shocked. People in the line scream.
Gary: You Bastard! (pulls out gun, and aims it at Karl) I was saving this for the zombies, but I think I may just use the first one on you.
Manfred: Gary, calm down. It was an accident. Tell him Karl! Tell him it was an accident!
Gary: Shut up Manfred, I don’t care what this pirate-bastard says. I’m going to kill him, and that’s final!
Karl: Wait! At least allow me to die with dignity. (akarl stabs one of his eyes with his hook, puts on an eye-patch, and takes a large swig from a dirty looking bottle) There. I’m ready.
Gary shoots at Karl, but Manfred dives in front to intercept the bullet. It hits him square in the chest, and he falls to the ground.
Gary: NO! See what you’ve done Karl? (shoots Karl in the head and bends down to tend to Manfred)
Manfred: Gary, you must not allow my death, or Celia’s, to be in vein. Kill the zombies, save the species, and teach the people what we have learned here. Stupid emo-acting people should stop; pirates can love, and dance; and when you put hot-dogs in disk-drives, bad things happen. Let my death teach the world that only acceptance will save us. It is with love, and compassion, that we must look to the future. Gary, my eternal friend, I am slain. (dies).
Gary: Manfred. I will. I will. Rest now.
Gary runs offstage.
Gary: (from offstage). Long live the human race!
Zombie moans are heard, along with several gunshots. The people left in line look horrified. They are staring at dead bodies, and seem unable to move or speak. Then, all of the dead bodies stand up. Gary and the military man come back, along with several people dressed as zombies. They join the previously-dead people in a line, and all take a bow. Manfred then steps forward.
Manfred: Thank you all for coming here tonight. We hope that you have enjoyed the third, and final performance of our short play, The Last Stand. (steps back into the line)
The people look at each other, confused, and unaware of what to say or do. Then, one begins to smile, as do several others. Then, nervously at first, begin to clap. The company bows one more time, to the now-thunderous applause of the “audience”.
Gary: Now let’s get up to that buffet!
The people laugh
Exit all
Curtain
